My second born son -K and I had a sweet Sunday morning visit today lying in my bed and chatting. I told him some stories from when he was a baby (oh how all my boys love that!) and he told me about a dream he had last night. In the dream the whole family was at his elementary school and there was a crocodile pit there. He talked about how he got around it and made it through, then he said I got stuck in it, but they (my family) all dragged me out.
I thought about how scary that must have been for -K, he is always so sweetly expressing his love for me. I also thought of what a relief it must have been to save me and how powerful it must have felt.
As I was thinking about it, I realized in a very real non-dream way, they have saved me.
For so long questions such as: Who am I? What’s my place in the world? How can I help myself? occupied my daily thoughts, I’m less concerned with those questions now. Perhaps because I feel more comfortable in the things I know about myself from all that searching, or perhaps because finding those answers did not necessarily bring happiness, growth, or change.
I don’t really think we can know everything about ourselves anyway, and the future with the change it inevitably brings can change those “things” we know about ourselves anyway, if we let it.
I thank my family for saving me from my constant self reflection and for the shift to looking outward at them and the world. What can I do for you? How can I help you? What do you need? Those are the questions that I focus my days on and miraculously through them and in the execution of them I end up finding… me.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone!