Striving to live life faithfully. From self involved artist focusing on everything but GOD to the opposite in a decade. Catholic, wife, mom to 7 sons, & writer.
I used to think in my early twenties that I would either make a go of the world, let go of my black and white, good vs. bad thinking, get elbow deep into the muck of the world, or move to Vermont... read more here

Easter Reflection – A Borrowed Heart

As I said in my previous post, it has been a challenging Lent on many fronts (in the grand scheme of things all little stuff, but challenging none the less).  Last night I attended Easter Vigil for the first time with my 10 yr. old son ~K.  He really wanted to go, it was a 2 hour Mass with a candle lit procession.  As beautiful as it was, I found my mind wandering. I thought about what I could fit my 16 week pregnant belly that someone really needs to tell is not 7 months pregnant into for Easter morning Mass and other random thoughts.  Through most of Mass I struggled to keep my focus.

This morning’s Mass started out no different till nearly the end when a little girl around 2 yrs old, a few rows up and across the aisle who was also having a hard time focusing discovered our family and came right over and started playing peek a boo with 2 1/2 yr old ~O.  You just couldn’t not smile and it brought the lightness of joy that my heart was missing.

After communion as I knelt to say a little prayer I thought of my mom who has been gone for 15 years now.  I looked at each of my 6 boys as they sat in the pew and meditated on how she would have loved them had she lived to know them.  Feeling as if I had her heart for just a few moments I loved each one in turn as she would.  I felt her unconditional and near perfect love and then saw the look on their faces when they were so totally validated and appreciated.  It was a love where only their best intentions were assumed.

It was a minute or so of heaven where I forgot myself and loved fully.

I know my boys feel loved by me, but it is a far from perfect love, marred by the ups and downs of each day.   If Jesus could help me do as he did and forget my own selfish motives and needs, I feel certain that a more pure love could spill from my heart.

Today I had a moment to try that heart on, and as costly as it is, I think it may just be worth the price.

Happy Easter!





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2 Responses to Easter Reflection – A Borrowed Heart

  1. Sybil says:

    Congratulations!!! And happiest of Easter blessings to you and your beautiful little family!!!

  2. Lisa says:

    Thank you Sybil!

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